Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
