Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
