You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
