If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize