we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I need a beard to bite.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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