Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
