I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
