And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Randomize
