and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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