She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
