i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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