I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
