Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You can't motorboat a personality
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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