I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
