I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
