Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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