I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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