I look better un-naked...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
