Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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