so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
