Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
