I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
