Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
