After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i out mim tonsoeep
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize