Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
