Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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