just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
