I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
