So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
