she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
