And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
