What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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