How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
