my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
