I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
