My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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