I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
