Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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