I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
