3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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