After last night, I could never be a politician.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
