we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
