I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
