after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
