And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
