i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
