I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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