FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
