She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
