My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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