hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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