First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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