Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
