I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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