Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
