The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize