yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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