Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
