You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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