he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
