I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
