I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
