That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
