So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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