wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
