Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
