So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
