i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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