Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
