doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sorry about my life...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
