you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
