like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
